My Love…

My love,

I don’t know that I will ever be able to adequately thank you for the way you have loved me through this season of our lives.

You have always been my provider and protector, but those words have taken on an entirely new meaning these past few months. In the middle of so much fear and uncertainty, you have been my constant. When everything around me feels chaotic, you are steady. When I feel like I’m falling apart, you are the one place I feel safe enough to completely come undone.

You have held me while more tears than I knew I had have fallen from my eyes. You never rush them or try to fix them. You just pull me close, protect every tear, remind me over and over that I’m beautiful, and say the words I have needed to hear a thousand times: “We’re going to make it through this together.”

Your arms have been my shelter.

There have been moments when I have felt like God gave me you as a tangible reminder that Jesus is holding me too. That even when I’m terrified and cannot see what comes next, I am held. I am protected. I am loved. I am not alone.

And your love hasn’t only shown up in the big moments. You serve me so incredibly well in a thousand quiet ways every single day. You make dinner. You run our kids everywhere. You do the chores. You keep our family moving when I simply don’t have the capacity. You make my coffee every morning. You have carried so much without ever making me feel like I’m a burden.

Your support is unwavering. Your love is unending.

I know this has been hard for you too. I know you have fears of your own, yet somehow you continue to be this steady force beside me. Cancer didn’t just happen to me; in so many ways it happened to us. And through every appointment, every decision, every tear and every unanswered question, you have never wavered. You just keep showing up. Loving me. Serving me. Protecting me. Holding me.

Tomorrow I’m walking into that hospital scared. I’m saying goodbye to a part of my body, and I don’t know exactly how I’m going to feel when I wake up on the other side. But I know you’ll be there. When I hurt, you’ll take care of me. When I cry, you’ll hold me. When I struggle with my changed body, you’ll tell me I’m beautiful until I can believe it again. And when fear takes over, you’ll remind me that we are going to make it through this together.

Someday, when this chapter is far behind us, I know I’ll remember the fear, the appointments, the surgery and the uncertainty. But I think what I’ll remember most is how deeply you loved me through all of it.

I want so much more of this beautiful life with you. I want to finish raising our amazing kids. I want graduations and weddings and grandbabies. I want ridiculous adventures and a million ordinary evenings. I want to sip coffee with you when we’re 80. I want to grow old beside you and look back together at this beautiful, crazy life God gave us.

Thank you for being my provider and protector. Thank you for serving me so selflessly. Thank you for carrying our family when I can’t. Thank you for every cup of coffee, every dinner, every kid you drive somewhere, every chore you quietly take care of, every reminder that I’m beautiful, and every tear you’ve protected while I cried in your arms.

Thank you for being my safest place.

I don’t know exactly what tomorrow will bring. But I know whose arms I want around me when it does.

Yours.

Every. Single. Time.

I love you more than words could ever say.

Forever Yours,

❤️ Me