Hallie is FOURTEEN

My most precious Hallie Belle,

FOURTEEN.

Oh my darling girl. How in the world are you FOURTEEN?!?

It feels like just yesterday that I heard the words, “It’s a girl,” and tears immediately started streaming down my face. I remember looking at your tiny perfect face and being completely overwhelmed by the gift God had just given me. I dreamed about who you might become. I imagined shopping dates and manicures and lunches and coffee and all of the fun things we would do together. I prayed that you would grow to be strong and courageous, confident and graceful, gentle and kind.

And somehow, fourteen years later, you are all of those things and SO MUCH MORE.

Hallie, you are absolutely breathtaking.

You are strong in every possible way. You are fierce. Independent. Hilarious. Talented. Ridiculously confident. You know who you are and aren’t afraid to be exactly that person. You walk into a room and people are drawn to you. You’re gorgeous beyond words, but somehow the most beautiful thing about you has absolutely nothing to do with what you look like.

It’s how you make people feel.

I’ve been writing that about you for as long as I can remember.

When you were little, tiny kids followed you everywhere because somehow they knew they were safe with you. At ten, I wrote that you had this incredible ability to make people feel like, in that moment, they were the most important person in the world.

And at fourteen, that hasn’t changed.

You are a natural includer.

You notice who’s standing on the outside and pull them in. You don’t have to be told to make room for someone—you just do. People are drawn to you because you’re fun and confident and hilarious, but they stay close to you because you make them feel valued. You have this gigantic presence without needing to make everything about yourself.

That is such an incredible gift, Hal.

And you are FUN.

There is pretty much always music playing somewhere around you and there is a VERY good chance that you are dancing. 😂 You cannot help yourself. Music comes on and your entire body apparently has no choice but to participate. You are silly and ridiculous and your facial expressions still make me laugh just like they did when you were tiny. Fourteen-year-old Hallie is somehow equal parts fierce competitor, future surgeon, dancing lunatic, incredible friend, independent woman, and my sweet baby girl.

It’s a pretty fantastic combination.

This year hasn’t been exactly what you planned.

Gymnastics has been such an enormous part of your life. You have poured thousands of hours into that gym. You’ve worked when you were tired, pushed through fear, fallen and gotten back up more times than I could possibly count. You have learned discipline and grit and toughness that most people will never understand.

And this year your back forced you to slow down.

I know that hasn’t been easy.

For someone as fiercely independent and driven as you, being told by your body that you can’t just WILL your way through something is HARD. I wish I could take that frustration away from you. I wish I could make your body cooperate with every giant dream in your head.

But Hal, I hope someday you understand that your strength was never measured by the skills you could perform.

Gymnastics has helped develop your strength.

It did not create it.

YOU are strong.

You are strong when you compete. You are strong when you have to sit out. You are strong when everything goes according to plan and you are strong when you have to completely change the plan. And I have a feeling that learning that lesson at fourteen will someday matter far more than any medal ever could.

And of course, because sitting still isn’t exactly your specialty, you’ve continued finding ways to GO. You ran middle school track. You’ve been swimming. You’re taking a class at Klahowya and getting a little glimpse of the next chapter that is coming way faster than I’m ready for.

And then there’s your dream of becoming a surgeon.

I LOVE that you dream that big.

And honestly? I can see it.

You have the intelligence. You have the discipline. You have the confidence. You have the steady determination to do really hard things. But even more importantly, you have the ability to see the HUMAN standing in front of you. I can picture grown-up Dr. Hallie walking into a room with that gigantic smile, making someone feel safe during one of the scariest moments of their life.

Whatever you eventually decide to do, I hope you never shrink your dreams to make them seem more reasonable to somebody else.

Dream ridiculously big.

Because Hallie, I’ve watched you do hard things your entire life.

There’s something else I’ve prayed over you since you were a baby that means more to me now than it ever has before.

When you were ONE, I prayed:

“I pray against any outer influence that says that she is not good enough, or that she is lacking in any way.”

You were a BABY.

I had no idea what fourteen would look like. I didn’t know about social media or gymnastics scores or teenage friendships or comparison or all of the voices that would eventually try to tell you what a girl is supposed to look like, act like, accomplish, or become.

But I knew those voices would come.

And Hallie Belle, my prayer has not changed.

Never, ever let this world convince you that you need to become less of yourself to be loved.

Keep that ridiculous confidence.

Be fierce.

Be independent.

Be strong.

Be the girl who walks into the room knowing exactly who she is AND makes room for someone who doesn’t yet know who they are.

Be gorgeous and know that your beauty is infinitely deeper than your reflection in a mirror.

Dance when the music comes on.

Laugh loudly.

Include people.

Dream about becoming a surgeon.

Love Jesus.

Love His people.

And when life knocks you down, remember that you’ve spent most of your life practicing how to get back up.

Fourteen years ago, I prayed that you would grow to “exude confidence and grace…that she would be amazingly strong, courageous, and dignified, yet incredibly gentle and kind.”

And sweet girl, sometimes I read those words now and cry.

Because God has been so incredibly faithful.

I was praying for the woman you might someday become.

And now I can see her.

So today, just as I have every year of your precious life, I pray this prayer over you…

Jesus, thank you so much for this gift of life that you have blessed us with. What an amazing honor it is to be her mom. I pray that your grace would pour out over Hallie’s life and that your Holy Spirit would invade every part of who she is. I pray that she would know and truly understand that she is amazingly beautiful. She is the picture of perfection created in YOUR image. You created her as an artist creates a masterpiece and looked upon her and said, “It is good!” Jesus, I pray that Hallie would grow to exude confidence and grace. That she would be amazingly strong, courageous, and dignified, yet incredibly gentle and kind. I pray against any outer influence that says that she is not good enough, or that she is lacking in any way. Lord, I pray that all of her worth would be found in you. God, I pray that Hallie would dream big and love deeply. And be loved deeply in return. And Jesus, please guard her heart. Set her apart for you and your will. I pray that your love would envelop her and consume her and she would find herself in you. Lord, protect her heart, her mind, and her body. I pray that your protection would follow her all the days of her life.

I am so excited for the days ahead and to watch my baby girl grow into a woman that is chasing after your heart. Before I know it, she will be walking into high school…and then I will hear her name announced as she walks across the stage to receive a diploma. And someday, perhaps I’ll watch her accomplish those enormous dreams she has for herself. And see her Daddy walk her down that aisle—glowing with your love as a beautiful bride. Or watch her hold her baby in her arms for the first time and gaze into his or her eyes, as I know it is at that moment that she may finally get a glimpse into how much I love her.

Jesus, thank you for this precious gift! Please give me wisdom to be her mom…to love her every single day of her life, to encourage her always and to be her biggest fan. I pray that you would be apparent in all of my words and all of my actions. Lord, help me to strive to demonstrate your love for Hallie in a tangible way in hopes that it will give her the smallest peek into who you are.

Just as her name means “Praise God,” all I can do is praise you for this precious life. May Hallie grow into the amazing woman that you have called her to be!

Amen.

My beautiful Hallie Belle, I wish I could freeze you right here.

Fourteen.

Still my little girl, but with this incredible woman beginning to emerge.

I want to remember the music blasting. The dancing. The laughing. The confidence. The independence. The gymnastics. The dreams. The ridiculous facial expressions. The people constantly gathering around you. The way you make room for everyone. The way you walk through this world with your head held high.

I don’t know exactly who fourteen-year-old Hallie will become.

Maybe a surgeon.

Maybe something you haven’t even dreamed of yet.

But I know WHOEVER she becomes, she is going to be extraordinary.

Because you already are.

Hallie, you are a cherished daughter of the King and one of the greatest treasures of my life. I am beyond words proud of you and forever grateful that somehow God chose ME to be your mom.

Happy 14th Birthday, my darling girl.

I love you to the moon.

Mom